Bad Company

You know how an author starts a blog by welcoming his/her future readers….. Uuuum!!! Not going to happen here. A few minutes ago I wanted to wash my clothes but there was no water, so here I am writing.

I am LOST. Not because there was no water, just LOST in life. I am 26 years and this moment in time I feel like I am going round in this big circle called life. There are a couple of reasons that make me feel like this but I will highlight one.

About a year ago, I started a business with a friend of mine. Let’s call her “Rosette”. This business had such hope, promise and potential to grow to really great heights in Kenya. It still does. So we planned, got the necessary business “props” and started. As all business start, ours had its own fair share of challenges which we expected of course. What I personally didn’t expect was to struggle for so long with it. The business started off so well and the demand was huge. We even decided to get a loan to get “additional props”.

Anyone who has taken a loan knows that the process is long and daunting. If you haven’t….YES the process is STILL long and daunting. Anyway, after the process we finally got our loan. It wasn’t so huge and we knew our business would pay it off. We were so sure because we had 150% confidence in “our props”. And we figured that even if “our props” didn’t work out we would manage to pay it out of our pockets. How wrong were we……

Business is “Mad as a Hatter”. Unpredictable in all ways the universe has to offer. “Our props” didn’t work as we had expected and so we had to struggle to pay off a loan from our pockets. Our loan is for a year. We took it last year October, 2013 and so we will finish paying it off this year in October. Right now we are in July. The past three months I have paid the loan alone from my pocket. Ok, with the help of my better half. What makes me feel lost and in despair is that it’s like “Rosette” abandoned the business. Ever since “the props” failed so to speak, I have had the heavy burden of paying off the loan of our business. I have also had the burden of trying to keep the business afloat alone despite “the props”. This makes me moody, depressed and plain horrible company at times. I can’t blame “Rosette” really seeing as she had some personal issues, which I will not get into but I will just vent.

As I write this I am not sure where I will get the money to pay off the loan, I am in-between moving houses and “Rosette” is not sure whether she will be able to pitch in this month. Now seeing as the bank does not know “not sure”, I will have to bust my BA (big ass) off and make sure I get the money. I will have to update you at the end of the month. If I do, just know that I probably won’t feel as LOST as I am right now.

In the mean-time I have been thinking of something else to do once I am done paying the loan. I don’t know what it is yet, all I know is that I LOVE CHILDREN. Rant for another day.

I still want to give my current business another shot….DECISIONS! DECISIONS! What to do?? Maybe by the next post I will have figured that out for now….PEACE.

Grateful for life……:)

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