Sorry World, Here’s 9 True Reasons to Visit Kenya

The world, uhmm…most of it, seems to have this perception of Africa as being wild and untamed. A vast conservancy filled with half-clad Maasai warriors chasing after wild lions. Lions which, in turn, want to turn some dainty gazelles gracefully darting through the savannahs into a pile of minced meat.

Well, world, I hate to break it to you: Africa is quite the buzzing whiz running around in an uncontrollable fit of technological buzz. A curly haired lady, with all manner of smartphones and smart gadgets clinging to her arms and ears, who sends emojis of broad-shouldered, muscular, smiley men to her Facebook friends. Yes people, Africa does have a Facebook account. I believe even Australia has fewer friends. You can Google that if you have to. I stand by my word.

Now, most of these misconceptions are actually fueled by media misinformation. The damned black box, the internet and glossy covered magazines have formed a lie-fabrication alliance so strong,it makes you wonder what their relationship is built on. Think of it, the three of them, all alone in a world we seem to be glued to every waking moment. Kind of like the way a trio of good looking beach babes would have any virile man’s eyes glued and singing hymns of praise to the corneas. It’s hard to even fathom what the three of them, I mean the lie-fabrication alliance, get up to when no one’s watching.

Not to pull A Bill-on-Lewinski though, I admit that parts of this vastly rich and colorful land still do have intimate relations with the wilder and untamed side of nature. Kenya, for one, is one of those countries where urbanity has a continual dalliance with age-old cultures and threaded traditions. That our country is blessed with an abundance of medal-winning marathoners; exotic wildlife; hot, sandy beaches; blue ocean waters; and an idiosyncratic bunch of politicians may not come as a surprise. But that just accounts for roughly 80 percent of what our nation is all about – the politicians and their madness accounting for 70 percent of that.

What about the other 20 percent of our nation? The percentage that posts Instagram photos of their exaggerated lifestyles and shares Twitter selfies of their posteriors. Do you get to hear about that lot? Or the places that these new-age urbanites, their exaggerations, and their posteriors visit? Or what they do for fun? Or the senseless online battles that go on between a new breed of so called “socialites” who post amateur videos of themselves doing a new sort of sing-song that only involves their posteriors? Or that local football, the dire shame that it is, is more celebrated by the locals than the ever successful rugby scene. I doubt Mr. Travel Guide is going to tell you anything of the sort.

Truth is, there’s so much more about Kenya that traditional sources of information will never give you. Be it out of shyness or out of sticking their heavy heads in the sand, it remains to be shown to the world what a true trip to Kenya actually entails. Because in order to truly experience a country’s personality for all that it is, you need to really immerse yourself in the odds and ends of its culture. Swim to the deep end of its lifestyle and come back up with the need to have a long hot shower, but yearning to have another go at that dive. You know why, its exhilarating stuff. The kind of stuff that fires the ember at the bottom of your soul, not just another couple of snapshots to store in your hard drive. I mean, you just can’t dip your toes in the swimming pool and say, “Ah, that was a good swim,” then board the next plane back home. No.

So I, and my better half, hereby volunteer as tribute in this expedition of showing you what a trip to Kenya actually entails. We’ll list down 9 unmissable reasons on why you should visit Kenya, broken down in order of subject content. Unadulterated from the very beginning to the end, we’ll share what the media heads don’t want you to know about Kenya, more specifically Nairobi – since Nairobi is what we call home.

Stay tuned dear readers, and explore Nairobi with us. Since we don’t have a budget with the liberty of the luxurious destinations Nairobi has to offer, we’ll give your our humble, and honest, opinion from the depths of what our pockets can afford us. Our first three reasons should be up on Tuesday, round about 10:00 a.m. GMT+3. I believe my girlfriend wants us to go out on a date, so see you Monday.

Keep it Kenyan everyone.

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