Loneliness is an interesting feeling. A cold, cynical absurdity that drags us down deserted tracks of desperation. An otherness that leaves you floating around in a lifeless daze, drifting farther and farther into a desolate darkness devoid of humanity. A world where there is but one feeling: EMPTINESS.
The relentless companion stripped of all emotion and impoverished in affection. One who steers your boat towards the rising tides and incoming storms, as you cling on to the sails of your heart with dear despair. Hoping, praying, invoking; that a higher power or ultra existence may calm the waters of your life. Or perhaps shed a mirage of light into the bleakness of your being.Nothing makes sense to you. Nothing at all. Neither the radiant sun rising from behind green, rolling hills; nor a whiff of blooming daisies caught upon the passing wind hold any beauty for you. All they portend are days of endless envy and gluttonous greed for a touch, a kiss, a smile. One that will breathe new life into your loins and ignite your dying ember. So you do what we all do worst: pretend to shut your mind to all thought, all communication, all sobriety.
You look for a distraction: actually, the more distractions the better. Vice becomes the ever faithful mistress, common sense the enemy. How, you think to yourself, would the odds ever be against one human being? How could one person be allowed to suffer so much pain, and shed so many tears? How do the fates even choose whom to torture next? Did you unwillingly happen to be the victor’s price at the end of an elemental dice roll?
So you indulge in everything that can kill the soul. Anything to relieve your conscience of the burdens that regret, lost chances, and remorse have cast onto your back. Anything to take you on a voyage to a world far, far away. Where nobody thinks of the troubles of today, or the inevitable bitterness of tomorrow’s passing. Where love bursts through the seams of time, and the skies are shimmering with promise. Promise of a love that endures, a companion to cuddle through the cold nights, and a heartful laugh to share with your loved ones.
You dream, hard, and envision this place and all its divine wonder. You forgo all conscious thought and wish fantasies into reality. Turning wild imaginations into actual frames of mind, and bringing back to life all the dead emotions from the scum you buried them in. In your dreams, you’re alive again. Full of laughter and brimming with joy. A thing of purity that this world has never before seen, and shall never again meet.
Yet despite all these dreams, all the hope you hold on to, all distractions and all vices – the chilling reality of it all, is that loneliness can never be escaped. No matter who you are, or what you do, it’s a curse that befalls anyone doomed with the possession a heart. You can wander the earth frisking for a remedy; scour the deep, blue seas with the hope of a fantastical sunset; even search high and low for a heaven that cares; but, at the end of it all, will never run away from the undeniable fact that you’re unhappy.
And you know why? That’s what loneliness does to a person. It kills you slowly, from the inside out. Turning your soul into an eternal rot, an entombed pile of twee.
Loneliness just doesn’t care.
(For this week’s Build Your Own Challenge: by The Daily Post)